O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
from Robert Burns, To A Louse: On Seeing One On A Lady’s Bonnet, At Church, 1786
I was recently made aware of the presence on YouTube of an interview that I’d done a while ago – four years, I think? – for a UK television show called Gardiner’s World (http://youtu.be/ykZ7V4bHuyQ). The show was usually hosted by Philip Gardiner, who has since gone on to work more on the big screen, but Filip Coppens (http://www.philipcoppens.com/) replaced him for the series of interviews done the day I was there. I was thrown in among six male authors, some of them with quite established reputations, all there to flog their newest publications. Everyone there seemed to feel he had discovered a piece of The Puzzle and was excited to share this with as many others as possible.
I was there basically because I had taken quite public exception to the fact that Gardiner’s World was almost exclusively populated by men and a traditionally male, intellectually-oriented perspective: did Philip not consider women as having anything interesting to say? This resulted in his inviting me to be interviewed, but with the threat that he was going to be very hard on me… and then he didn’t show up!
My friend Timothy Wallace-Murphy preceded me, and spoke on topics related to his historical research and published work on the Rex Deus families, touching on the Templars and the as-yet-unsolved mystery of Rennes-le-Chateau. Filip had been given the theme of Secret Societies to work with, and so attempted to steer Tim in this direction – this was the general tilt of Gardiner’s World , toward conspiracies, hidden knowledge, secret codes, etc….
I wasn’t nervous, but I was very aware of the dissonance of my presence. As each of us was interviewed, the others sat lined up beyond camera range, observing, so I had all the authors behind me as I spoke.
It’s funny – I remember the interview quite differently to how it actually transpired: somehow in my mind I flipped the two separate sections, ending with the bit that actually was just before the commercial break. I have to agree with the YouTube reviewer who couldn’t stand the sound of my voice or my repeated “hmmm?” to check whether Filip was following my line of thought – I can’t handle hearing my voice or watching myself either..!
I do think, though, that the comment that branded what I said as “beyond ridiculous” was an indication of the audience that the show regularly attracted. Habitual watchers, used to white male authority figures speaking about the fascinating research they had undertaken and the mysteries they had solved, were quite certain to find the ideas I expressed to be disconcerting and irritating. I can only hope so.
The timing of this experience being once again brought to my attention is … interesting, as lately I’ve been encountering this kind of resistance more frequently than I have for a while. I’ve been called all sorts of things throughout this life, not all of them fit for a Sunday-school picnic! Reception of me and the teaching I offer has varied wildly, depending on the level of consonance or dissonance between my appearance and belief systems and those of the surrounding community. I’ve often felt like a car radio set at, say, 55.5 on the FM dial: only here and there as I’ve traveled has the alignment of frequencies allowed for crystal clear communication and comprehension. My intention is simply to resonate with the highest energy (i.e. the greatest love) of which I am capable in any given time and place, with the understanding that this is the way I can have the greatest positive influence on the world around me.
It seems that my life has somehow begun to impinge upon people who have been living in the belly of the beast – in corporate and suburban ostrich pens. Some of these people are waking up and finding themselves surrounded by a reality that is in opposition to their newly-conscious state. Typically there’s a struggle – friends and family members become alarmed at the transformation occurring in their loved one, and fingers start to point – chins begin to wag. Whose fault is this??! This is when I look my most innocent and bat my eyelashes, “Who, me?”
Of course, I can take no credit, any more than I accept blame, for the transformation of the people who cross my path. We’re like electrons bouncing around in a hotter and hotter medium, moving faster and faster, sharing information and energy with those we bump into and passing it on in the next encounter. My responsibility is toward myself: to the ancestors whose work I continue through the body they prepared for me, created of the living Earth of which I am a particle, and to the Source that guides me as clearly as I am able to perceive my oneness with it. And there’s the rub: if All That Is is both interconnected and One with Source, the conscious unveiling of Who I Am is therefore also an unveiling of Source and of All That Is. “If a=b and b=c….” The radiance of each one of us is essential and integral to the unfolding of Oneness – of all Existence.
The judgements of others still take me by surprise sometimes, hitting my solar plexus and heart and knocking the breath out of me before I’m able to breathe them deeply out again and return them to their owners with compassion. When I’m able to do so, it stems from the awareness that when I “see myself as ithers see me”, I am actually seeing what they have learned about themselves….