I’m in a particularly foul mood right now, and the wiser course might be to remove myself from all modes of self-expression until the dust settles. But that’s not gonna happen… I think I’ll blame it on Mars going retrograde.

The immediate thorn is that I just got off a call with (yet another) pompous white guy. This one was offended that I was not fawning sufficiently at his Transcendent Beingness, and suggested that I really ought to be doing what the 122 people before me (at around 100 British pounds for 30 minutes, although “most” had booked an entire hour!) had apparently done, and thank him profusely/abjectly for his clarity and insight and wonderfulness, then ask, mouth appropriately agape, “How DO you Do it?”

The problem is that I was not really that impressed with what I’d heard and read. A few phrases he used had caught my ear, as I have used them myself, and I figured this might be a sign that there was more for me to learn. Not from him, really, but from the entities that I thought would be present and active during the conversation.

After his snit about my obvious lack of gratitude for the honour of speaking to him (“I see no Transcendence here – where’s the Transcendence?”), he pulled two cards for me from his deck of oracle cards that he pitched me to purchase, described  what I could clearly see was pictured on the cards, regaled me at length about his contact with a variety of famous people, and then uttered a self-satisfied, condescending “So, how’s that?”. As if he had kissed my bobo all better.

When he asked me at the beginning of the call how I was, I answered honestly, saying I was bouncing between states of ecstasy and heightened discomfort. When I returned the question, he said he was in a constant state of “Joy, Joy, Joy!”. Nothing in his demeanor supported that statement.

In the 20/20 of hindsight, I should have been prepared for this experience. A year or so ago, I wrote to the (white, male) organiser of this particular spiritual forum, wondering whether he really could not find any spiritual teachers who didn’t look like they came straight from Fox News.OK, I was more polite than that, but that’s what I meant. His reply: If we are the ones evolving, should we not be the ones teaching?

You see the implications of that, right? If you’re a person of colour, you may actually feel your response to it in the pit of your stomach, as I did. I filed this under “Yet Again” in my mind, but have continued to regularly scan the on-going forum, just in case…which is how I came across this latest Piece of Work. I know…I’ve called this experience into my life to bring up the emotions I’m now feeling….

You may have guessed that I’ve had it with being fed the notion that illumination is yet another perk of white privilege.

But it’s more than that. What I’m chewing on now is the dissonance between two ways of perceiving and dealing with the chaos of our world. For many of my friends and peers, it is imperative to focus on Positivity, with the understanding that where we concentrate our attention will form our realities. The Wolf We Choose to Feed, and all that… Yes, there is war, poverty, injustice, etc. going on, but as Souls we have all chosen our realities, and this world is but a stage, after all.  This often feels to me like stuffing your fingers in your ears and loudly singing “LALALALALA” with a smile on your face. The thing is, the people I know who are of this mind-set are all “white”, and don’t live their lives in constant contact with violence, poverty, and injustice.

Does the security of white privilege, of knowing you are better than all the other-coloured people of the world in such a visceral way that you can claim to be “colour-blind” and believe it, really give white folk the leisure of illumination?

When I think of all the earnest white faces offering to sell us their Transcendent Wisdom through video, audio, print and vibes, what strikes me most is the emphasis on Spirit, singular or plural. Angels, Spirit Guides, the White Brotherhood, Galactic Command, Star Brethren from Sirius, Andromeda, the Pleiades and so on…. The Earth is where we have come to live a life of trial and eventual transcendence, all the while aching to leave and go back Home to wherever the Hence we came from.

I’m likely more open and familiar than the general population with multi-dimensionality and off-planet contact. It’s not something I even question any more. But there’s a denigration of the Earth implied in most of this Spirit-focus that feels aligned with the suppression of the People who have lived close to Her, and it bugs the bejeezus out of me. That most of the world’s land-centric Peoples are non-Caucasian is the proverbial icing ….

(I say “most” because I am very conflictually aware that in my own family, it is my mother’s Irish-Scottish side that remained more land-based, while my father’s family seamlessly melded their Hindu (Brahmin) caste consciousness with English colonial values.)

Civilization, refinement, elegance and sophistication are vaunted qualities that are defined in opposition to primitiveness, crudeness, simplicity and intellectual ignorance. And the cream, as they say and believe, will float to the top. These are values that separate…that divide. On the other hand, compassion, trust, communion and consensus  unite us in the Circle, each individual valued for her place in the web of Being.

Positivity (come Hell or high water) and Spirit-focus, in a variety of pastel shades, seem to ascend hand-in-hand. There are, of course, legions of dusky-hued converts to a variety of religions for whom God is masculine, and the Earth, women and our bodies are sinful obstacles to our (re)union with the Divine. African preachers and Sami herders are also obvious exceptions to this generalisation, but I’m still stewing over it.

There seems to be a strong and growing belief that Humanity has ruptured into those who are choosing to evolve into higher frequencies and dimensions of existence, and those choosing to remain in the suffering of duality-based 3-dimensional reality. I just read someone’s comment that this is a time of separating the chaff from the wheat. Prophecy Rock of the Hopi, the biblical Book of Revelations…even the prophecies of Nostradamus, are cited as confirmation of this. Separation. Division.

Has the Bodhisattva Vow really gone the way of the dodo – collateral damage of an evolutionary split? Remember, the decision many of us made to stay incarnate on this Earth until Everyone was able to ascend/transcend/access a Christic state? “None of us is free if one of us is chained”, and all that?

If we are indeed evolving out of duality, we must have more than just these two options.

Alright. When in doubt, make a list 😉

1. I believe that all Manifestation arises from one Source energy, and that therefore we are all flames of one Fire
2. I believe that Humans and All of Our Relations whose bodies are created of the flesh of Earth/Gaia are a part of her evolution through Duality and back to Oneness
3. I believe that we Humans have the capacity to wield the sword of free choice, but that precious few of us are aware of the extent to which we refuse to do so, being caught up in prefab identities determined by our ancestors and societies.
4. I see Earth clearing and shifting, her body transforming in sure and often violent fashion, with human societies, cultures, nations, communities, families, and individual lives and bodies as concentric circles of the same fractal reality, experiencing the same transformative energies.
5. I know there are many secretive forces around the planet that are invested in a prophesied timeline of apocalypse that is no longer valid, having been overturned when enough of the planetary consciousness rejected it. This investment in planetary destruction has been strategic and transgenerational, requiring such an immense quantity of resources that it is proving difficult to just let go of the whole idea.
6. I am aware of inhabiting an interstitial space between races, cultures, dimensions and realities. I am called to midwife what are not always gentle births from one state to another, but always elevating in frequency. The last initiation I received was accompanied by a name that is difficult to translate into any languages I speak: it holds the energy of opalescent crystalline rainbow light, woven with that of a warrior. I was charged, as must be many others, with representing and supporting the Rainbow Nation of evolving humanity.

I get it. My mind is in a state that I now recognise, where all points of reference have dissolved and chaos reigns. I have to remind myself that from this confusing, blesséd non-dual state, the New can arise.

My heart is fine. I feel part of the rhythm of the natural world, of the Medicine Wheel, and know that we in the northern hemisphere are in the Southern Portal now, dealing with our wounded solar/masculine energies. I can feel that we are in a time of sorting and sifting, and that Mars retrograde until the end of the month is helping us become aware of what still irks and irritates, so we can let go of what we’re ready and able to release.

Today is the New Moon, after all, and a partial solar eclipse, challenging us to balance WE and ME. Not to choose, but rather to balance, to weave, and reclaim our potential for Oneness

Blesséd Be….

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